What's really going on backstage ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why is the truth so hard to accept? Friday night I had a dream that he came to my window, it poured down rain that a tree outside fell down. Not sure what that meant. Had another breakdown yesterday, cried because I miss him. I have to snap out of it and Tell Myself the Truth. I wanted to pull S into the light with me but he didn't want to come, instead he wanted to pull me into the dark and I went and he disappeared and left me abandoned. It's not my business Ky & S's relationship. It is my business to make sure I'm consistent in my walk with God and stop being a rebellious brat. It takes Faith to believe that one day in God's court is better than a thousand elsewhere. I do not desire being in a carnal, wordly, relationship w.S where God is not the center. I don't desire it because we become each other's gods which leads to unfair expectations, frustration and a continual lust for more--never done until it's ashes. It's not about longevity, it's about quality and eternity. My heart might long for it but it's the one that ends up paying the price for it (ie: V-day, X-mas break) = Ouch! songs: This kind of thing happens in Wordly relationships and even in the Kingdom. LEARN THE LESSON HERE: Not to give my pearls to pigs because I end up trampled. I don't want to be trampled anymore. The bad has definitely outweighed the good and so with that it's time to fully let it go. To do list: Delete E-mails I was doing so well putting the past behind me then facebook happened :/ 10:26 a.m. - 2012-04-29 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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