What's really going on backstage

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With All These Things

Cafeteria Tray, An Old-Fashioned tan phone
the kind I loved from the show 'Three's Company'

Why am I thinking about how it all started
maybe because I want to re-create it
Oh how I loved to dress up back then
my closet is still full of abundance
but I pretty much wear the same things
day in and day out

I guess when things are unplanned
is when they come to be something
so unexpectedly
I read her words and how I could relate so
to her amusement of the electricity

I just need to breathe again but it's hard
when need to keep emotions in check
for fear of falling off the cliff
I wanted so much to take you there
and then but couldn't

Fighting back me but still growing in us
maybe it's this city that makes it so hard
and thus reminders abound
He said "we start to create new ones"
and I do just want to be clean and right
but it's that room 552
I remember so as such a beautiful thing
so unafraid
is what I miss the most
we went without fear
into this friendship that carried our hearts so
I don't care if you have what you have
with others
All I know is that if I could bottle this journey
while she sings " get me outta here "
I'd drink it all over again
except
the long absence in
which you disappeared

I have to accept that this time around will be real
and not so magical but that's so it can last and
not dissolve
I am resolved
because I know the the brightest stars burn out
the fastest
I just need the understanding
that each connection
will be different and
I can stop trying to duplicate it

I get it, there is no remake of this show
The unique mania is irreplaceable
and cannot be recreated that just shows
how special the craziness really was
and all I can do is cling to God
the one who allowed it all to be
and thank him for allowing me
to experience that
which seems like a dream
and for also not disowning me
because I know when the bell rings
It's only in him
can I be at peace with all these things

-nique 2009

- 2009-01-09

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