What's really going on backstage ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- matching rose-pins Amen, I can't win, it's ok though because God knows my heart. when will she ever learn? my heart is in my stomach. so why then did he post it. he told me not to be afraid but then goes and does the very thing I was afraid of. Which is to switch it up so suddenly. I just want to call him and ask him why did he do it. Am I crazy? I am NOT crazy, we talk about things as though we are together. Than why would he do that? Uggghhh! It makes me not want to go on FaceBook. I know it is all the heart behind it. I mean I was extra careful. I could've posted a pic of Sam and I or of Neary and I but I didn't because I was wanting to guard his heart. Okay, let me get a hold of myself. I know I am doing everything in my power to be spiritual and surrendered. It just really upsets me because here I was being all careful and he is like what are you so afraid of and then for him to do that, it's like. There! Right There! that is what I was afraid of. But you gave me the courage to put it out there and this is what you do to me. I don't get it. Was it just a game to see if I would, or you could get me to? There show everyone N likes V! Hello! Hi! Look N is obsessed with V, but he is not paying her no mind, he is posting pics with little sis's. The day after we have a conversation about whether or not we are going to go forward. I really don't want to care, so I AM NOT. You do what you do. you do what you gotta do, because ultimately GOD IS IN CONTROL. I am obeying his voice and so whatever happens, happens. It is not V's fault I am having an Endy dejavu. The thing I learned from that is not to force it. He wants to post pics up of him and a little miss thing, matching and everything, well by all means go right on ahead. It is my job to have grace and understand his thoughts are not my thoughts. And actually I don't want someone who isn't going to consider me in their actions. This is what I prepared my heart for. So I am ready. good-bye Vonni, until or unless God puts you in my path. I am ready for action in so many other areas of my life. October sure is the month of making or breaking a relationship for me. Must be some kind of wierd cycle. Halloween feels like I am always dealing with some broken feeling. I have done it before and I'll just have to do it again ; ) - 2009-10-07 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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