What's really going on backstage ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 3rd times a charm and the charm broke. I asked God, why didn't it work out between Vonni and I. He told me that it was because Vonni was not ready to be the man that I needed him to be and still has so much to learn. I asked "why did you let it get this far if it wasn't meant to become something more?" So I can see how easy it is for me to become idolatrous once I am into someone and for me to be aware of that, that it isn't just with people in the world but it lies within my own heart. Also, I musn't let someone define me or validate my worth. I must only find my worth in Christ and define myself as his chosen one not a man's. That no matter what happens who comes and goes I always have him as my anchor and to not give that away to someone who hasn't committed to earn that. Like the Boxeight opportunity I must let it go and obey God when he says no. Trusting in him that when the answer is yes, it will be. But if it is no it is because of a good reason because he does want the best for me and he wants to protect me. That should make me happy, but instead I feel very sad. My ways are not his ways and I must stay consistent in obedience and respect no matter what. I do love God, but not more than anything and that is what needs to change. - 2009-11-17 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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