What's really going on backstage ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- it all falls down Not sure where to begin, or if I should even explain. Let's just say in giving us up, I sunk into a deep depression. Which is so funny because it's not like that is going to help anything and I understand we are not on the same page. I get it. We are too different to be together. I kind of stopped leaning on God and started giving in to my own emotions again. I kind of let everything around me fall, which is so not me. I know you can't have your cake and eat it too. the sad thing is that I am used to you being with other women. Never stopped me from loving you as a person. Maybe as my significant other, yes. I realized how much I couldn't trust you that is why I couldn't go back. Still, we could talk forever. Hearing your voice is like hearing the best part of being home. Life is real and I accept that you aren't mine. You never were content with being just that anyways. When we started talking again it was like no time had passed really, we could just pick up from anywhere. There will always be a part of my heart that is attached to you. I am a woman and I have never loved anyone more than I have loved you. So of course I am going to feel this way. I need to stop watching movies like Love & Basketball, Brown Sugar and The Notebook. Where they fought their love for each other until they just couldn't fight it anymore. Life isn't built on emotion, it's built on Love and Love is Sacrifice. Ours is more like Seven Pounds, we can only dream of a life together but when is all said and done. Your soul and life is more important than how I feel. I know I will be ok, even though it doesn't always feel that way and I know we have tried being just friends before and it's pretty much impossible. I know you probably feel the way I felt when I was with KP. "This isn't the love of my life but it's what's here, it's what is now and it's what I know." - 2011-11- ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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