What's really going on backstage

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The transition to so-called friendship

Me: I'll try not to be negative but's just hard not to be when I know what I went through as a result of that decision you made

S: I hear ya, I just need you to be my friend

Me: yeah can be hard to just be neutral when it comes to you, it's either love or hate! LOL

S: I know but will u try

Me: give me some time, still hearing you say 'my wife' makes my skin crawl.

S: LOL I will, so what's on your mind

Me: just trying to get myself back on track after losing myself to the whirlwind that was (our names mixed together). LOL

S: Glad to hear that

Me: Yeah I don't know why I am such an emotional person, some people think I am hard but it's only a protective shell because I am so soft
I just wish I wouldn't let things affect me as bad, I am learning.

S: Thanks for listening, I know it's hard and awkward at times but I just really need someone to talk to and you're the perfect person, thanks for being a friend.

Me: Sure I am still here for you punk and I am proud of you for not getting that girls number at the concert

S: It was hard she was really cute and sexy

Me: Seriously? Did you have to say that last line? Have MERCY! Sheesh

S: What???

Me: Nothin

S: Oh I know, well ur my friend so you have to deal with the good and the bad...

M: Fine, thanks for being so considerate

S: I will be more considerate fo you feelings. My bad, please don't think I told you things because it has anything to do with you because it really don't I just need to get back to my old ways...LOL

Me: I don't think it has anything to do with me but dang, it hasn't been that long since we were all cupcakey, you really think I want to hear how you think this girl is cute and sexy. Well I don't and yes it does remind me of your old ways.

S: Ok, I'll remember that, I kept your face pictures but I deleted the sexy one

Me: Wow you did? After all that whining> LOL

S: Yeah I have to discipline myself to get you all out of my system, If I keep them then I'll just want you and I don't want to want you anymore

Me: Well I want to be able to conversate with you without getting so Emo, uGH! I Can't help how things affect me.

S: we'll get there

Me: I'll help you

S: That was why I knew I couldnt' be with you in the past bc if you ever cheated on me> I would've been demolished

S: Well you never have to worry about that

Me: I'm just too sensitive when it comes to you

S: Well stop

Me: With other people I can control it, but with you it takes over me and I either wanna cry or lash out

S: all that will soon be gone

Me: well just remember I am genuine and honest in what I say and take also your words the same

S: I am too
It wasn't like any of this was easy for me but when you're forced to do something you have to do it.
And you forced me to be this way.

Me: I forced you? well actually you forced yourself when you got married as if it's some light thing & Not professing forever. I didn't want to bring it up again but seeing as how you're sayin I was the one that forced you, I kinda had to.

S: Okay I get it and I will not bring that up again
you can say that even if I wasn't married we wouldn't be together though

Me: Well just like you said I can't predict what you would've cheated, you couldn't predict that we wouldn't have been able to be together. K. SO how about we leave it at that.

S: Okay I agree

- 2013-05-22

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