What's really going on backstage ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- cloudy head again Ok, So I have decided to take a break from contacting S. I mean my heart was getting so clogged with things that I am not sure are even necessarily true. Like I want to be back in a relationship with him. This always happens to me when I stop being spiritually focused I want to reach out to tangible things regardless if they are good for me or not. I have so much to do but first I need to clear my head and my heart with God. Thanksgiving is coming up and I might see him, I really want to but part of me is really nervous because what if I look forward to it and it doesn't end up happening. I got insecure when he didn't respond to my e-mail so I didn't try and see him last weekend when I was near his city. I don't know why I got so insecure, I guess that is what happens when I am not close to God. I get all fearful and timid. I just don't like desiring things only to be disappointed, makes me crazy! I will get myself together and then possibly maybe see him thanksgiving weekend. If God wills it to be, it will be, if not then amen. - 2010-11-15 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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