What's really going on backstage

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so many

so many things I see
so many things I feel
so many things you are unaware of
I am wondering if you will ever get a clue

you have expressed your frustrations
about the separation
to which I exclaim
"aren't you used to it by now,
it's something I've accepted"
but not in so many words

so many times I'm wondering
so many times I am thinking
so many times I am free to do
what I want
with who I want
except for with you

you see darkness in my art
and it has been awhile since
we have had a real talk
of what we are feeling
without metaphors
and insinuations

I am wondering why we are afraid
of being real
is it because we are afraid of what
we are going to feel
and how much
more we are going to want

so many questions
so many thoughts
so many wishes
so many phone
conversations
and it's still not enough to feel
connected.

10:37 p.m. - 2006-08-20

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